dian

On grief and gratitude

Tonight something compelled me to search for “grief” in the Twittersphere. I came across this psychoterhapist’s blog post about the coexistence of grief and gratitude, and how the existence of one doesn’t necessarily have to erase the other. http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/grief-and-gratitude

The ability to feel profound grief and gratitude, I believe, are the hallmarks of mental health.  I reject all those self-books that teach you 100 ways to achieve happiness, or how to “conquer” this or that affliction.  Can you grieve for the damage that you’ll never completely transcend but at the same time feel grateful for the actual good in your life?

Not for the first and probably not for the last time, I’ll bring up It’s a Wonderful Life.  As always, I’ll be watching it during the holiday season and I recommend that you watch it, too.  It’s a moving study in grief and gratitude.  When George stands weeping with his family as the townspeople of Bedford Falls file through his front door, bringing money to save him from prison, those are tears of gratitude in his eyes — there is so much goodness in his life! — but it’s not a happily-ever-after kind of ending.  For me, at least, it’s bittersweet, with a mixture of feelings. George never does get to travel the world and have adventures, as he’s always longed to do.  He’ll always grieve for what he’s missed, always regret what he’ll never have the chance to do.  He’ll also love and feel deeply grateful to his wife, family and friends. One doesn’t erase the other.